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(currently untitled)
By Cere

It was a rainy summer day. One of those days where the rain shows no sign of letting up and your going to be trapped inside all day. Once I noticed my prediciment, I immediatly decided to do what any other dedicated fanfic author would do.

I watched TV.

I had been watching TV all morning and was prepared to do the same thing all afternoon, when I was informed by my mother that doing so would promtly and permenently melt my brain (count on her to ruin my fun). Therefour I was banished from watching TV for the rest of the day. I decided to do what any other dedicated fanfic author would do in my place.

I played computer games.

This lasted for about ten minutes. Then I was informed by my mother that exessive rays from any kind of electronic screen would melt my brain. Therefor I was banned from doing anything electronicly related for the remainder of the day. Facing the prospect of death by bordom, I decided to write a fanfic.

Getting out pencil and paper (things better suited to arkeyological study than actual use), I decided to do a Turtles story. One that's dramatic and action-packed. A deep story that examines the roots of the charecters. Yeah, that's it. Now all I need is a villian. Not Shredder, he's to ordinary. Let's see...

MIKE: Aren't you ever going to start the story?

I'm providing a brief background of the story first.

MIKE: Yeah, right. Dude, you're boring the audience before the story's even started!

What would you know about things like that?

MIKE: I've been in the business a lot longer than you have. I've been in plenty of stupid, boring stories, and this is starting out like one of those.

Nonsense. This is going to be a dramatic and action-packed story.

MIKE: You already said that. Besides, today's our day off.

You're day off? Cartoon charecters don't get days off!

MIKE: Now they do. I'm pushing to give us cartoon characters more rights.

But you don't even exist! Your creations of somebody's imagination!

MIKE: If I don't exist, then how come you're talking to me?


MIKE: See!

But why would you want more rights?

MIKE: Do you know how often people write stories about us? There's almost never a day when we aren't forced on some crazy adventure. Do you know how long it's been since we've had a vacation?

But why are you doing this? Wouldn't this be something that Leo or Don would do?

MIKE: I want more time to work on my surfing and pizza-making skills!


MIKE: I know. Do you want to hear the speech I wrote?

I think I'll talk to Don.

DON: I'm busy.

What do you mean, "I'm busy"?

DON: I'm working on my inventions.

Your kidding.

DON: I hardly ever get time to work. I'm using this day off to my advantage.

But I need you!

DON: I know.

Hey! What's that supposed to mean?

DON: Judging by what you have written so far, you have a lot to learn about spelling and grammar rules. I've noted seventeen errors so far.

Alright, tell me what I did wrong.

DON: First, I'll have to lecture you about the basic rules of grammar.

How long will that take?

DON: About an hour.

Maybe I'll talk to Leo instead.

LEO: (sitting and meditating)

Leo, wake up.

LEO: (continues sitting and meditating)


LEO: (still sitting and meditating)

(the author takes a book and hits Leo on the head)

LEO: (wouldn't you know it, sitting and meditating)

(the author shouts in Leo's ear)

LEO: (you guessed it, sitting and meditating)

(the author kicks Leo's leg as hard as he can)

LEO: (believe it or not, sitting and meditating)

I give up.

LEO: What did you want?

You little-

LEO: Hold it. There may be kids reading this.

How did you-

LEO: What did you want to talk to me about?

Can you-

LEO: Actually, I think we should talk about you.


LEO: You were insulting dedicated fanfic writers earlier in this story. You know they would write a story before watching TV or playing video games.


LEO: And as long as I'm not meditating, we can talk about all the other moral issues brought up in this story.

Maybe you should continue meditating.

LEO: Okay, I will. (sits and meditates)

I know one person who'll listen to me.

LEO: Don't bother trying to talk to Splinter. You'll never get his attention. He meditates deeper than I do. (continues sitting and meditating)


RAPH: What are you doing?

Trying to write a story, but nobady's cooperating.

RAPH: Let me see it.

(the author gives the story to Raph, who reads it and gives positive comments)

RAPH: No, I didn't!

Hey, I have aritstic license here. I can fib a little if I want to.

RAPH: I said your story was crap.

Other people will think differently.

RAPH: What's the title?

...I haven't thought of one yet.

RAPH: (laughs) That shows just how bad you are. I bet you couldn't write a good story if your life depended on it.

(the author calmly blows off the insult)

RAPH: That's not what you did!

Artistic license, remember?

RAPH: It sounded more like a stream of swear words.

Yeah, so?

RAPH: If you're not going to write things as they are, I don't think you should be writing this story.

What are you going to do about it?

RAPH: (takes the author's paper and pencil)


RAPH: (evil laughter) Now I'm in charge of this story!

Give those back!

RAPH: Bow down and worship me!

(the author bows down and worships Raph)

I am not!

RAPH: Hey, I'm the artist and I'm using my license.

You are not! Those are mine!

RAPH: Fight me for them.


RAPH: Fight me for them.

That's crazy.

RAPH: Afraid I'll hurt you?


RAPH: Then fight me.

What if I don't want to?

RAPH: I'll kick you in the head.

You'll do that anyway when we fight.

RAPH: That's right.

This is stupid. I'm leaving.

RAPH: (kicks the author in the head)

(the author is knocked unconscious and falls to the floor)

MIKE: (looks shocked)

RAPH: (says that he asked for it)

LEO: (sits and meditates)

DON: (comments that Raph's using too many parentheses)

MIKE: (agrees)

RAPH: (asks how to spell parentheses)

DON: (threatens physical violence if Raph doesn't stop)

MIKE: (offers to help)

RAPH: Alright, alright, I'll stop.

MIKE: What are we going to do with the guy?

RAPH: Probably drop him off back where he came from.

MIKE: And he never got to hear my speech.

DON: Will one of you finish this story already?


MIKE: Can't we put my speech in there?



MIKE: Not even an excerpt?




MIKE: You're positive?

RAPH: (kicks Mike in the head and knocks him unconscious)



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What did you think? Your feedback is welcome! E-mail me at cere_8@hotmail.com

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and all related characters are the property of someone else. This is a work of fanfiction and no copyright infringement was intended.