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This is the story of a very interesting man. When you're around him, there's never a dull moment. On a scale from 1 to 10, his hyperactivity level is a 583. I'm talking about Mr. B., and here is the story behind his life.
His story begins before he was born. You see, his mother had a fondness for coffee, pop, and sugary desserts. While she was pregnant, all this energy trickled down into little Baby B. He was born a month early, fully developed and ready to party, and was literally bouncing off the hospital walls. A doctor was brought in and Little B. was diagnosed with chronic energitis, for which there is no cure. B. would be full of energy and be very hyperactive for his whole natural life.
While he was growing up, his chronic energitis was growing, too. As a kid in school, he was very energetic, didn't need any naps, and was known to spontaneously burst out into fits of hysterical laughter. This made him very popular with his friends, but a little aggravating for his teachers.
All cases of chronic energitis have a substance that sends their energy level into overdrive. For Mr. B., his weakness is Dove chocolate. The first time his mom brought home some Dove chocolate, B. pounced on the bag and quickly snarfed all the chocolate down, then developed a stomachache from eating so much chocolate so quickly. Just the smell of Dove chocolate sends Mr. B. into slobbering frenzy, and it takes a couple hours for him to calm down ("calm down" is a relative term; he merely returns to his normal hyper state).
Once, while in high school, he was in speech class when the teacher unexpectedly fell out the window (Bob denies everything). Not wanting to bring in the authorities, Mr. B. decided to substitute. The whole class had an uproarious time, and even though they didn't learn a single thing, they all agreed that Mr. B. was outstanding. That is when Mr. B. decided to become a speech teacher.
So, Mr. B. is currently teaching high school speech, his chronic energitis in full swing. He daily looks forward to teaching his "happy students" (as he calls them), and tries to spread his energy and happiness into everyone.
God help us all.
Based on a real person
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Mr. B. is the property of himself. No copyright infringement was intended.