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Another Survey Found Lying Dead in the Street

Be forewarned. This gets nasty!

**************** STATS AND OPINIONS*****************

FULL NAME: I. P. Daly
BIRTHDAY: February 31, -1965
BIRTHPLACE: a hospital
STATUS: alive
HOME: motor
EYES: white
HAIR COLOR: electric blue
WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN?: my what??

********************LOVE LIFE*************************

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE?: 2,317 times
A SONG THAT DESCRIBES YOUR LOVE LIFE: haven't found one yet

******************************************************

ARE YOU A RIGHTY A LEFTY?: an uppy
HISTORY OF FRACTURES: once I broke my erectile tissue
HAVE YOU EVER SAVED YOUR CHAT CONVERSATIONS?: what chat conversations?
ROLLERCOASTERS -DEADLY OR EXCITING?: both!
SAY SOMETHING NICE ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO SENT THIS TO YOU: why do people keep asking me these questions?!
SAY SOMETHING TO THOSE WHO REFUSE TO RESPOND TO THIS: get your head out of your <deleted> and respond!

**************** THE FUTURE***************************
WHERE DO YOU WANT SEE YOURSELF IN 10 YEARS?: Mars!
# OF KIDS: as many as I can
KIDS NAME(s): ...I haven't thought that far yet

*****************HAVE YOU EVER...*********************
BROKEN THE LAW: I swear, I didn't do it!
RAN AWAY FROM HOME: I was just riding my bike!
EVER CHEATED ON A TEST: you're going to use this as blackmail, aren't you
HAD A MEDICAL EMERGENCY: see HISTORY OF FRACTURES

************** Do U Believe IN...*******************
LOVE AT FIRSTSIGHT: yep, especially with centerfolds
ALIENS: I know a couple
GHOSTS: if I say know, he'll get mad
HOROSCOPES: mumbo jumbo
YOURSELF: ...let me think for a minute

********************* WHICH IS BETTER? **************
COKE OR PEPSI?: Dr. Pepper
WHITE OR CHOCOLATE MILK?: electric blue!
DEAF OR BLIND? I'm neither
BLONDES OR BRUNETTES?: I know 215 dumb blond jokes

************** WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU ************
CRIED?: when I got kicked in the <deleted>
GOT A REAL LETTER?: a what??

********************** WHAT...**********************
IS YOUR MOST PRIZED AND IMPORTANT POSSESSION?: my secret stash of Playboy magazines
WHAT IS THE ITEM YOU WORSHIP THE MOST?: my <deleted>
IS THE WORST SONG YOU HAVE EVER HEARD?: see A SONG THAT DESCRIBES MY LOVE LIFE
IS THE BEST THING THAT HAPPENED TO YOU?: heh heh heh
IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK WHEN YOU WAKE UP?: it's too early
WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSEPAD?: the mouse
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER: 5,467,438,018,025
WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM : posters of nude women
WHAT DO YOU WEAR TO BED?: nothing!
WHAT IS THE WORST, MOST UGLIEST THING YOU EVER DONE IN YOUR LIFE?: you don't want to know

*************** FAVORITES:**************************
FAVORITE RELATIVE: any one smaller than me that I can beat up
FAVORITE TV SHOW(s): the ones on late at night
BEST FRIEND: best what??
GIRL: see below
GUY: see above
SHAMPOO: what's that?
BOOK: what's that??
FAVORITE MAGAZINE: Playboy!
FAVORITE DRINK: anything alcoholic
FAVORITE SOUND: I can't say it
FAVORITE SMELL FOR MEN OR WOMEN: see above
FAVORITE THING TO DO ON THE WEEKEND: make out, I mean, hang out with friends
FAVORITE SOUNDTRACK(S): sound-what??
FAVORITE MOVIE(S): any with scantily clad women

***************** IF********************************
YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED WHAT WOULD IT BE?: photographer for Playboy
IF YOU COULD HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT AND WHERE WOULD IT BE?: on my <deleted>

**************** DO YOU?****************************
DO YOU GET MOTION SICKNESS?: motion what??
GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS?: no
DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE?: yes, except people keep on getting in my way
DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?: what do you think I am, a kid?!
DO YOU TYPE WITH FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS?: nope
DO YOU DRINK/SMOKE?: I can't answer that
WHO IS YOUR BIGGEST CRUSH RIGHT NOW?: don't know, haven't gotten the next magazine yet
WHO DO YOU GO TO FOR ADVICE?: the voice inside my head
WHO DO YOU HATE?: everyone!
WHO HAS IT EASIER, GUYS OR GIRLS?: men don't have to give birth (ha, ha)
FAVORITE QUOTES: When life gives you lemons, something's wrong
NICKNAMES: Mr. Bill, Tom, Lawrence Charles Henderson, Most-Likely-To-Get-Run-Over-By-A-Car, Dunloff Scheezenmuffin
DO YOU BELIEVE IN REINCARNATION?: what's that big word mean?
DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF A GOOD LISTENER?: what did you say?
WOULD YOU RATHER BE OVERLY HAPPY AND POOR OR OVERLY WEALTHY AND UNHAPPY?: wealthy people get all the girls
DO YOU LIKE TO DANCE?: oh yeah!
ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT: me, shy?!
DO YOU LIKE TO TALK ON THE PHONE?: if I did, I'd be calling you instead of doing this
WOULD YOU RATHER GO ON A WALK OR WATCH TV?: depends if it's raining
WHAT'S YOUR DREAM HONEYMOON PLACE?: a nude beach!!


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